Many of A Penny Saved’s readers are married, I’m sure – I for one am happily married. At some point in a marriage ( hopefully before you say I do ), the issue of finances will come up. The question that a lot of people are asking these days is “Should my spouse and I combine our finances, or maintain separate accounts?”
If the answer to this question is anything other than “We’re getting married, so our accounts should be combined”, then I think the couple in question really needs to reconsider their marriage plans. Marriage is a team effort, if you will. Both partners need to be on the same page financially, working toward the same goals. Having split accounts, and splitting the expenses will just cause problems in 99% of cases. It will become a constant argument of ” I’m not spending my money on that” and ridiculous things like that. When one spouse makes significantly more than another, things can get even hairier.
My opinion may not win me any awards, and I know it’s not universally popular. But I will remain stubborn in this regard – if you cannot trust your fiance 100% with your finances, and agree to combine your finances & accounts, then you have absolutely no business getting married. Money will become an issue, and it could easily end your marriage. Trust is the most important thing in a marriage, and without it, there’s no point.
For a different point of view, check out Lazy Man’s post on the same subject. Though we don’t agree at all on this one, I find his point of view interesting.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I have this argument with my husband all the time. He thinks I spend all of HIS money, and if we had seperate accounts he could spend HIS money on whatever he wanted to. Problem is, there is NO money after bills, plain and simple. Sometimes I think men are just too dumb when it comes to finances…at least thats been the case with my experience o.0;
See I’ve always thought women were terrible with money. Go figure
I totally agree with you on this one. I do think that each person should be entitled to his/her share of mad money, but it should come out of the joint account, and the amount should be agreed upon.
I think that when couples maintain separate accounts for the purpose of having their own money to spend, they are just avoiding a problem, instead of working it out, and what precedent does that set for a marriage? That’s the kind of thing that leads to divorce. Having a joint account forces you to discuss your finances and goals and then agree on a means to reach those goals.
Right – if you’re going to do any sort of separate accounts, the money *must* come out of a joint account first. Having the joint account is the only way to make sure your marriage doesn’t suffer due to constant money arguments.
I don’t believe in divorce ( except for in maybe 0.0001% of cases ), and do everything possible to make my marriage happy and successful. Being on the same financial page is a huge part of a marriage, like it or not. I’m glad you see things the same way I do Lynnae.
My wife and I must be the 1% minority. We keep separate accounts and it works beautifully for us.
Indeed Zachary, you would be in the tiny, tiny majority. I’m glad that it works for you, and I hope it continues to do so as you move forward.