Sad Financial Day
This past Saturday was a sad day. I spent part of it helping my mother-in-law, who is in her eighties, with a financial problem. It took me about two hours to figure out everything she had done. The brief:
- She purchased 4 curtains by phone from a catalog company
- She returned two of the curtains to the company, but did not follow any of the directions they gave for returning items. Hence the catalog company had no record of the return items.
- She unknowingly signed up for a credit card through this company- either because of hearing problems (she just got a hearing aid), or by being misled. The purchase was then placed on this credit card.
- She paid the catalog company by check, not realizing that the order had been placed on this new credit card. She paid for two curtains, but only a partial payment. I am still not sure how she came up with the figure she paid, but it was about $10 dollars short.
- She received the new credit card in the mail, but not realizing she had signed up for it, she sent it back; to the curtain company; whole.
- She received the credit card statements every month, but she threw them away because she did not have their credit card, she had sent it back.
- She also unknowingly signed up for credit protection on the card for $99 a year
It took me awhile to figure this all out:
- I called the credit card company- I got India of course. Was told I had to pay something on the card (it had been months, so there were late fees, excessive interest, etc.) before they could “help” me. I told them I was not paying anything. Repeatedly. And louder each time.
- I had to convince them that I was authorized to deal with them (which I was).
- I had to tell India to skip the script and get me to a supervisor who could help solve this. I only had to say “transfer me to a supervisor now” six times. Not bad.
- I was able with the supervisor to begin the process of getting this all straightened out. Thankfully my sister-in-law was able to finish this up on Monday.
My Mother-in-law is a smart person. She helped run the family business for years and did the bookkeeping. So this made this day especially sad. It appears that she is starting down the path of needing more help. It’s going to be a hard journey. It took us years to get her to go for a hearing test and get hearing aids. It will probably be the same thing with us helping her with finances, and in other areas (she still lives in her own townhouse).
I am now officially part of the sandwich generation - caring for aging parents and for young children at the same time.
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Carol D. O'Dell said,
Wrote on November 29, 2007 @ 8:18 am
I so relate! My dad died 15 years befor my mom, and during that time, my mother develooped Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. She lived with us (my husband and I and our three daughers/dogs and cats to boot)the last three years of her life. During that 15 years, she went from being able to manage her finances to it being totally out of control.
At first, I’d question how she paid for something–what unnecesssary repair she was having done. She’d go to a store and simply hold out her cards like a fan and let the cashier pick one–it’s a miracle she got them all back.
Slowly, I became more and more aware of the situation–as a busy wife and mother, I already had so much on my plate–and by the time I took her finances over, it was such a mess that it took months to even figure out where she was.
Yes–you’re now a sandwich generation-er.
Finances is only one component of this lovely little title (I say facetiously), but as crazy as it sounds, caregiving will add a dimension to your family and yourself–and you’ll learn patience, tenderness, and perhaps most of all, time management:).
~Carol O’Dell
author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir,
available on Amazon and in most bookstores
Dividend Machine said,
Wrote on December 5, 2007 @ 4:08 pm
Good thing it was not someone knocking on the door and asking to be let in.