It has come to my attention that my previous post has been misinterpreted. I know student loan debt is a polarizing issue in the personal finance world. But, why, I ask you, is it that whenever someone expresses frustration at their student loans and their parents’ financial irresponsibility in the same entry, readers assume the blogger thought that their parents should have paid for their whole college educations? Overall, a minority of parents pay for their children’s entire college career out-of-pocket. A minority of children expect it. The situation is extremely uncommon below the upper-middle-class. Of the people who graduate from college, about half leave with debt. Most potential college students know this. But what most of these young people don’t know is what being debt is like.
So, I’m quoting this response I left in Llama Money . Maybe this will clear up a few things.
I don’t resent my father for not paying for my college education. I knew they didn’t have the money to pay for the full college educations of four children. I mean, who does, really? 
What I resent him for, if anything, is being so demanding that my education not impact him financially at all (ie, no college for me until after I was 24 and his name was no longer on my FAFSA – sorry I wasn’t more explicit about that) and being eager to completely cut me off when I turned 18. His selfish attitude towards money, and well, everything, deeply influenced my own attitudes, and I’m still working on that today.
My mom ended up getting PLUS loans, but I’m the one who pays them. I resent myself for my college debts, because I made bad decisions. But I guess one thing I can be proud of is that I paid for my education myself. And the struggle is making me stronger.
I never said I think parents should pay for their children’s education – many can’t, so insisting upon it would be foolish. But the best gift I think the parents can give their children at this point in their lives is the reason why, as well as they have learned it. Even wealthy parents should let their children know why they can afford it. Let your children learn from your mistakes, your smart decisions; let them understand the cost of a year of college as compared to your income after expenses; tell them about how important it is for you to save for retirement (so they don’t have to support you later 
); help them research scholarships and alternative education; help them understand what it is like to be in debt. Up until they are 18, most people in America have no experience of what it is like to personally be in debt, but most adult Americans are in debt. As a parent, you know what the real world is like.
I agree with you:
How will it be paid for? A combination of scholarships, good old fashioned hard work, and student loans. My wife and I will impart as much financial wisdom as we can, so the student loan portion will hopefully be minimal.
I hope any parents reading this will make an effort to think more like this.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for the clarification. I may have been the only goofball to misinterpret the post
Perhaps the reason is that many of my friends growing up expected “free” college from their parents, and most got it. I’ve seen the financial damage that can cause firsthand, because the majority of these folks weren’t rich.
No, I understand. Some of the more important points I was trying to make came off sounding kind of mangled and confused, particularly the whole paragraph about parents and college expenses. It could easily be read as having the opposite meaning of what I intended, and I apologize.
I too misinterpretted it, as can be seen in the comment I left after the last article. In fact, my beliefs about this have prompted me to right a blog about the approach my husband and I are taking (and no, not out of anger at your post or anything!). I will be posting it soon. Thanks for the clarification, as well want to do all we can for our son, but not handicap him in the world of responsibility at the same time!
Thank you. I can’t wait to read your post!
It will probably be on Friday because I will have subject matter for tomorrow and it seems weird not to put something special in for Valentine’s Day on Thursday!
Posted the student loan blog yesterday. Today is on “luck.” Feel free to let me know what you think. =)
From the time my four children were born my husband and I put money into an account to help with their tuition when the time came. Unfortunately our marriage broke up when the kids were still young but I continued with the savings which required all four to have paper routes and part time jobs to pay for their clothes, etc. but they were promised this money. All four attended university- the youngest still has two years to go but the older three have good careers and good jobs. The money almost paid for their tuition but not books or living expenses so they had loans, summer jobs and part time jobs but they have all developed good attitudes toward work and money.
I recently remarried (I was a single mom until my youngest was 17) and my current husband has two sons- 25 and 27 who have been going to school on and off for the last 5 years. The only time we hear from them is when they need more money for school. The younger just started a four year degree program and none (zero) of the classes he has taken up til now count towards credit at this new degree.
I think my kids knowing how hard it was for me to put money away for them made them value their education and work hard to finish it. My husband’s kids always had money growing up- no real jobs or chores but still the money flowed and their attitude towards both money and hard work have been affected. Going to school now is much easier than working. I am sure that what we are doing with them is wrong but it seems too late in the game to change.