A Penny Saved

It has come to my attention that my previous post has been misinterpreted. I know student loan debt is a polarizing issue in the personal finance world. But, why, I ask you, is it that whenever someone expresses frustration at their student loans and their parents’ financial irresponsibility in the same entry, readers assume the blogger thought that their parents should have paid for their whole college educations? Overall, a minority of parents pay for their children’s entire college career out-of-pocket. A minority of children expect it. The situation is extremely uncommon below the upper-middle-class. Of the people who graduate from college, about half leave with debt. Most potential college students know this. But what most of these young people don’t know is what being debt is like.

So, I’m quoting this response I left in Llama Money . Maybe this will clear up a few things.

I don’t resent my father for not paying for my college education. I knew they didn’t have the money to pay for the full college educations of four children. I mean, who does, really?

What I resent him for, if anything, is being so demanding that my education not impact him financially at all (ie, no college for me until after I was 24 and his name was no longer on my FAFSA - sorry I wasn’t more explicit about that) and being eager to completely cut me off when I turned 18. His selfish attitude towards money, and well, everything, deeply influenced my own attitudes, and I’m still working on that today.

My mom ended up getting PLUS loans, but I’m the one who pays them. I resent myself for my college debts, because I made bad decisions. But I guess one thing I can be proud of is that I paid for my education myself. And the struggle is making me stronger.

I never said I think parents should pay for their children’s education - many can’t, so insisting upon it would be foolish. But the best gift I think the parents can give their children at this point in their lives is the reason why, as well as they have learned it. Even wealthy parents should let their children know why they can afford it. Let your children learn from your mistakes, your smart decisions; let them understand the cost of a year of college as compared to your income after expenses; tell them about how important it is for you to save for retirement (so they don’t have to support you later ); help them research scholarships and alternative education; help them understand what it is like to be in debt. Up until they are 18, most people in America have no experience of what it is like to personally be in debt, but most adult Americans are in debt. As a parent, you know what the real world is like.

I agree with you:

How will it be paid for? A combination of scholarships, good old fashioned hard work, and student loans. My wife and I will impart as much financial wisdom as we can, so the student loan portion will hopefully be minimal.

I hope any parents reading this will make an effort to think more like this.