What’s Up Guys?
One of the opportunities I have as a Pastor is to do counseling. Being part of a multiple pastor staff, my counseling tends to fall into two areas: Premarital counseling (which I do with my lovely wife), and financial counseling. Over the years, I have noticed a trend. When counseling couples who are having financial difficulty, two things emerge time and again:
- Their problem is not that they don’t have enough money, but that they spend and spend. If a couple makes $40,000, they spend $45,000. If they make $80,000, they spend $90,000. I have yet to meet a couple who cannot live on what they make. They just choose not to.
- Their problem is not usually the wife, but the husband. It is the husband that tends to send the couple over the edge financially. Usually it is with “toys”: new trucks, boats, expanded cable or satellite packages, bigger T.V.’s, etc.
Now when I bring this up to the couple, the women smiles that “it’s about time someone said something” look. And the guy gets all defensive and begins the excuses:
- I need the boat to fish which saves us on groceries (and how many fish do you need to catch to make up $20,000 plus interest?)
- I need the truck for work (and the guy sits in an office?)
- I need the bigger T.V. so we can save on going out…
Yes, I hear some pretty lame excuses, and these guys are serious. So what is up with guys and their expensive toys? Is it an ego thing, a never have grown up thing, I make the money so I can spend it thing? What do you think? Would love to hear your input (both guys and girls!).
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Kaye said,
Wrote on February 15, 2008 @ 10:46 am
I think it’s a “never growing up” thing. I think that boys love their toys. As they get bigger, so do the toys. I honestly think that women are focused on the homelife and much of their (over)spending revolves on their perception of what it takes to 1.)make a home, 2.)provide for the children and 3.)be a “good wife.” The boys (or mine at least) just love entertainment…whatever form that takes on. Mine loves video games (yes, he’s 35), music (I think he has bought and sold 25 or more trumpets over our 6 years of marriage–I’ve finally stopped him as he is not a paid professional), and movies/cds, etc. Just my two cents.
sally said,
Wrote on February 15, 2008 @ 11:07 am
In my experience, among people in their 20s, women tend to splurge more frequently, but on smaller things, whereas men splurge less often, but on big-ticket items. I can’t speak as to how this might affect a marriage or things later along the line, though.
Llama Money said,
Wrote on February 16, 2008 @ 9:33 am
In my marriage, my wife is definitely the spender. Granted, I have my moments when I “just have to have” something, but they are rare, and generally pretty reasonable. My wife loves to shop, shop, shop. Doesn’t matter if it clothes, something for the house, a new TV, new iPod, whatever.
I still love her though
And she’s been in super- saver mode lately, probably thanks to my constant prodding. Still interesting to see JD’s point of view, since he gets to talk to more people and see their situations.