One of the best tools you can have in your marriage and finances is an agreed upon communication strategy regarding finances. My wife and I share all our financial information with each other. If she spends $5, I know it. If I spend $10, she knows it. We are very open and honest, and it works for us. It builds a lot of trust in our relationship.
I know others who only ask or tell their spouses their expenditures if they are over a certain dollar amount, maybe $50 or $100. I know others who have “allowances” and as as long as they are within their allowance, nothing is said. And that works great for them.
What works best for me and my wife may drive you and your spouse crazy. What works for your family maybe too much or too little information for mine. I think there are many ways of dealing with your family finances that are fine as long as:
- You both agree! If you are not in agreement, then that’s bad relationally and financially. You need to get on the same page.
- You are not using the money for destructive purposes (i.e. an addiction).
- You are not trying to hide poor financial decisions or overspending.
Find what the best communication strategy is for your family, and then use it. And it probably doesn’t hurt to review from time to time to make sure everyone is still on the same page. And of course there may be times where you have to share more or less depending on current circumstances (i.e. someone sick, you’re in debt and working your way out, etc.).
If you don’t have a plan, make time soon to sit down and discuss what financial spending information your family needs to be sharing with each other.
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As my husband and I have had many arguments about the size of my cell phone bill he no longer believes that I have the discipline to moderate my calls on my own. He has forced me to cancel my cell phone contract and put me on a prepaid cell phone ‘straight talk’ package from WalMart. Surprisingly I will be saving about $1200 over a period of 2 years by using the $45 package for unlimited calls and unlimited text. It even pays me to pay the cancellation fee. Similarly there is also a $30 a month prepaid package for 1000 anytime / anywhere minutes and 1000 text messages. It is amazing how much you can cut back on cell phone bills.
Cutting down on food bills significantly is another area that my husband is always harping on – So he bought me a ‘low cost food recipe’s book that teaches you to cook on a low budget – it doesn’t mean the food will be any less tasty if you’re using less expensive groceries.
By talking about finances with your partner and allowing him or her to make suggestions and give alternatives to existing costs you can creatively save money and to turf some of those resentments and stresses in your relationship.
Thanks for sharing your story. It is wonderful that you and your husband are getting on the same team and tackling some of these issues. Please continue to let us know how things work out as you guys work together to control expenses.
You are right – it is so important to talk about Finances with our partners. Many times the couples that come in to see me for help with their finances – a lot of times they have not even talked to each other! How sad. Communicating with each other can go a long way to correcting financial problems.